Obama Puts the "Sin" in "Sinister"?

Obamadamus has many helpful and devoted truth-hounds who help us ferret out the truth about Beelzebama. But our latest revelation has come not from this grassroots freedom pipeline but from a more banal source: CNN.

While watching the Democratic Debate on Thursday night (to keep track of the what the enemy is saying, of course), both candidates took notes—or drew pictures of each other or whatever one pretended to pensively write while the other exhaled lies. Over the course of this dreadful dramedy, Obamadamus noticed Barack Obama pick up his pen with his left hand. That’s right: Obama is LEFT-HANDED.

As all Christians know, when JC finally makes good on the return half of his round-trip ticket, Earth will experience The Last Judgment. The world will be divided between the saved and the sinners, with the blessed on the right side of God, waved on with his right hand and into Heaven. And on his left? The damned, who get a pimp slap with the back of his left hand as he sends them down to Hell. To the right: Heaven. To the left: Hell. It is no surprise, then, that “left” and “left-handed” have their Latin roots in “sinister" (and you don't have to know Latin to realize that left=liberal). Most people think that to see the Sign of the Beast, you have to shave the guilty one’s head and look for sixes. Far more simpler is to hand him a pen and see what he does with it.

Look around, people. The left-handed are everywhere and most of them don’t even try to hide it. Until we finally get a leader who will open the re-education camps or more loving mothers who diligently train their children with a steel-edged ruler every time one of them reaches for a milk bottle with the wrong hand, the left-handed will continue to walk among us. And who seeks to lead them? Barack “Lefty” Obama. This time, it’s divinely vetted proof that Obama is a Muslim sleeper agent bent on destroying America from the inside out.