Obama Kicks Vendor Between the Wickets

Cindy Ashtoll is a special kind of baseball fan. This 42 year-old native of Chicago’s north side never misses a game – because it’s her job to be there. Cindy sells hotdogs, climbing aisle after aisle, step after step of her beloved Wrigley Field, sating her fellow die-hards with warm tube steaks wrapped in steamy, moist buns.

Due to her 25-year tenure at the park, Cindy gets the prime real estate – field level, covering home plate to first base. That’s where the big spenders are. Business leaders, celebrities, and politicians galore. Cindy’s accustomed to pushing wieners to big-wigs, and usually doesn’t think much of it, but one day during inter-league play, with the hated White Sox visiting Wrigley, she saw Barack Obama seated in her section. She admits to having been a bit smitten by the charismatic legislator at first. That is, until she learned a horrible truth.

First, Obama turned down her offer of a free hot dog. What red-blooded American turns down a free ball park hot dog? Evidently, one that don’t dig on swine, as we’ve already learned. But here’s the kicker – as a dejected Cindy turned to climb the stairs, she overheard one of Obama’s companions ask if he’s ever played baseball, to which the Senator replied, “No, but I played some cricket in Indonesia.” And that was the moment when Cindy saw the truth.

“Cricket!,” she exclaimed in an interview with Obamadamus. “That’s pretty much the Muslim national sport, isn’t it? I wouldn’t be surprised if he played soccer, too.”

So there you have it. Obama hates hot dogs and baseball, probably plays soccer, and if elected, will surely convert America’s national past-time to that of Pakistan’s. Just further evidence that Obama is a Muslim sleeper agent bent on destroying America from the inside out.